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The Titanic [1996] [2007]


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Car-Crash TV? More like Ship-crash. More like a sham
Review date: 2008-06-10 Rating: 4 out of 10


There was only one reason why I couldn't mark this down to one star. That reason is star quality. Catherine Zeta-Jones brings a certain element of respectability to this movie that was clearly made for TV, as well as the presence of some guy from the OC as a self-sacrificing rich guy who would rather save his girl than himself.

So to the plot: Well we all know the story of the Titanic. Sails a bit, hits an Iceberg, sinks. Should be able to sum that up in five minutes right? OH NO. NO SIR. In fact, it's more like four hours, but hey, let's not hold that against it. There is actually some decent interaction between a few of the characters, though the acting is as wooden as a Ship. A Pirate ship though, not the Titanic. I don't know who plays Aase, the worst-named character in the world, but she;s awful, and the others are not much better. However, special mention must go to the Captain, who had a stormer. There are about five different plots weaved in here, but not with the success of a film like Crash, more like five really bad films all mashed into each other on a sinking ship. As if they didn't have enough problems already huh?

A special mention must go to whoever did the art direction on this movie, because they managed to put together the most obviously unrealistic depiction of New York ever. It was just ... a painting. It was a painting for god sake, not even a good one. All the colours were wrong as well. And the montage of the sinking? WOW. Just wow. The literal single worst piece of film I have ever seen. I understand it was low budget, but seriously. AND how were the engine room guys not underwater when we saw in the next scene that the bottom half of the ship was underwater? It's these kind of errors that put continuity directors out of work. 'Sake.

Honestly, if you want to watch a film about the Titanic, watch the real one. It's just better, even though it did pilfer a fair few scenes from this one. And then made them better. And it has better, cleaner stars in it. I like clean people, what can I say. Special mention must go to Tim Curry, the Cardinal, who played some sort of thief man who dressed up as a woman. WELL HEY! Good to see ya again.




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Reviews


titanic well a bit
Review date: 2007-09-17 Rating: 6 out of 10

i thought it was stupid because the stupid feeling made me laugh and i do not talk about it to friends i never forgot arfter seeing it but it was a bit scary of all those people on that boat so i never watched it again arter that i am not to keen of boats incase they sink but in a way i liked it because it's a true story for one thing and it's so well put together thats another thing and my friends did like the movie probaly much more then me because i didn't really like it atall so that's why i did never watch it again it is infct a 12 certifacate i don't know why i think it should be a 15 or 18 but no it's a 12 and there probalbly right

Product Details/Specifications


Actor(s):
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Eva Marie Saint
George C. Scott
Peter Gallagher
Tim Curry

Creators:
Peter Gallagher (Primary Contributor)
George C. Scott (Primary Contributor)

Director(s):

Recording label: Boulevard Entertainment Ltd
Manufacturer: Boulevard Entertainment Ltd
EAN: 5060146910668
Binding: DVD
Number of items: 1
Format: Colour, Full Screen, PAL,
Release date: 2007-05-30
Aspect ratio: 1.33:1
Audience rating: Suitable for 12 years and over
Region code: 2
Running time: 177 minutes
Language: English (Original Language)

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