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Candy Stripers [2006] (REGION 1) (NTSC)


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Won't live up to your personal candy striper fantasies
Review date: 2007-01-01 Rating: 4 out of 10

Hollywood knows us so well. Any self-respecting horror fan will know that this film almost has to be sub-par, yet so many of us just can't resist the allure of R-rated candy stripers having their way with a cast full of characters. I'll bet it will be really gory, we rationalize, but all we really care about is seeing some of our sick candy striper fantasies realized, however vicariously. It's the same instinct that gets most of the male cast members of this film killed. We just can't help ourselves, despite warnings such as the one I am about to deliver: Candy Stripers is a silly, laughable film that just doesn't deliver the goods.

The only surprising thing about this low-budget cheesefest is the fact that the director serving up this round of candy striper titillation is a woman (Kate Robbins). Maybe that explains why there is a lot less nudity in this film than I was expecting. To be frank, I didn't even find these bodacious candy stripers all that attractive, including those portrayed by Playboy Playmates Deanna Brooks and Serria Twain. (Eliza Swenson is totally hot as Nurse Sally, but she doesn't get much screen time.)

There's no sign of an original thought to be found in this film. The plot is utterly predictable, and the characters are all hackneyed stereotypes. You've got your dumb jock, your loud and abrasive jock, your heroic jock, your blonde bimbo head cheerleader, and of course your geeky girl who is secretly in love with said heroic jock. After a basketball game turns ugly, three players (representing 60% of the team, as there is not a single bench player to be found on the sidelines) end up in some unnamed hospital. Only Matt (Brian Lloyd) is seriously injured (broken leg), but his buddies hang around because of all the hot candy stripers walking the halls. The girls are awfully friendly, especially when they make late-night bedchecks on Matt and his bud Joey (William Edwards, Jr.). Before long, though, the hospital staff (all ten of them) are worried about an "infection" going around that seems to leave victims covered in mysterious webbing. By the time Matt decides it's high time to get out of this crazy place, a quarantine has been declared and the candy stripers are running amuck. Apparently taken over by strange alien phalluses which require copious amounts of sugary snacks, they quickly begin to decimate the male population of the hospital.

The rest of the film has our teenaged heroes running for their lives all over the hospital, which proves very upsetting to Matt's girl Krystal (Nicole Rayburn) because she just had her hair done. Unable to find a way out, the gang (what's left of it, anyway) ultimately decides to fight back, a decision which somehow transforms geeky Tammy (Sarah Ball) into a hottie. Insert your standard predictable ending (complete with lame final "twist"), and you're done.

About the only thing Candy Stripers has going for it, at least initially, is a decent gore factor, including hearts ripped out of chest cavities and gunshots to the head. Then the director and her special effects crew went completely overboard when it came time to start taking down the alien-infected candy stripers. Much derisive laughter ensues, thereby ensuring Candy Stripers' place among the ever-growing ranks of juvenile, ill-conceived low-budget horror films. One hates to criticize the acting because the characters are all so grossly stereotypical, but no one in this film is going to be winning any acting awards any time soon. It's also clear that director Kate Robbins didn't go the extra mile for this film. Not only did she not include any little extras in terms of scenery and story, I just can't get past the fact that she gave us a high school basketball team with only five total players. That tells me that she just didn't care enough about this film.

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Product Details/Specifications


Actor(s):
Deanna Brooks
Brian Lloyd
Brianna Berman
Scott Aaronson
Sarah McGuire

Creators:
Scott Aaronson (Primary Contributor)
Brian Lloyd (Primary Contributor)

Director(s):

Recording label: Sony Pictures
Manufacturer: Sony Pictures
EAN: 0043396148062
Binding: DVD
Number of items: 1
Format: AC-3, Closed-captioned, Colour, Dolby, DVD-Video, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC,
Release date: 2006-06-27
Universal product code (UPC): 043396148062
Aspect ratio: 1.78:1
Region code: 1
Running time: 89 minutes
Theatrical release date: 2006
Language: English (Original Language)
Language: English (Subtitled)
Language: French (Subtitled)

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