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Dracula 3000 [2004]


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all i can say is..... what the hell
Review date: 2008-04-29 Rating: 2 out of 10

This film is great if you like half developed plots, and even less developed characters. the idea was there and it was great and then..... well 'and then....' pretty much sums it up. you begin to wonder if all the characters are going to die or if someone is going to save the day, and then....
Everthing blows up, the credits roll and were all left with our mouths hanging open thinking What The Hell?!

(my thoughts- the budget ran out!)


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Reviews


If this film was a vampire it would be the runt
Review date: 2008-03-25 Rating: 2 out of 10

Honestly I bought and watched this and felt robbed of the time I spent watching at times I felt it had potential to be more but either director or the writters thought no we'll go the otherway and make it SUCK!!!!

ONE OF THE WORST FILMS AROUND
Review date: 2007-10-31 Rating: 4 out of 10

Deep space salvager Capt. Abraham Van Helsing, (Casper van Dien) and his crew, co-captain Aurora Ash, (Erika Eleniak) navigator Mina Murray, (Alexandra Kamp-Groeneveld) engineer Arthur Holmwood, (Grant Swamby) and workers 187, (Coolio) and Humvee, (Tony Lister Jr.) happen upon a floating barge adrift in space. Entering, they find the ship completely deserted. Shortly after, they become stranded on the ship, which turns out to be holding coffins in the cargo hold. As they're turned one-by-one into vampires, the remaining crew members fight back against the head vampire, (Langley Kirkwood) and his nefarious plans.

The Good News: For a movie as bad as this was, the only redeeming factor is that it's so bad and cheesy that it's almost impossible to stop watching. It's so bad it's good, and while it may not be all that special, it's never really boring so there's something to be had from it. However, simply watching it go from utterly ridiculous scene to utterly ridiculous scene wears itself out pretty fast.

The Bad News: There are two main reasons why this is so bad. The first is that it's just mind-boggling stupid. There really isn't anything here I can spoil, but the fact that it constantly makes no sense at all. The fact that they make up two distinct story lines for the creature's origins that contradict each other, yet they decide to eventually combine them late in the film. It doesn't make any sense at all, and neither does the rest of the film at all. Every action is explained, but they're always contradicted by later explanations from other sources. It's completely non-logical and should provide countless hours of headaches for those who view it. The other mitigating factor is that it officially proves that vampires are scary, as this is one of the most non-present vampire films around. The title character makes a grand total of five minutes of screen-time in here, and only officially kills one person on-camera. I could go on for hours, but this was just all around bad.

The Final Verdict: Really hard to recommend to, as there really was hardly anything worthy of value here. It's only real redeeming factors is that it looks somewhat decently made, but other than that, only those looking for the worst of the worst or the vampire completest.


Absolute Rubbish
Review date: 2007-08-14 Rating: 2 out of 10

I understand when films are given bad reviews and when
we rent the film, we find the film to be o.k and sometimes not to bad.

However, this film is a complete waste of anyone's time!

If like me, you are drawn to the cover, which i rated 10/10.
Great looking picture, i am sure you too agree?

But as for the cover which looks and gives the impression of
a great film to follow on, then i am afraid to say, sorry no!

The film is 100% nothing like the cover.

The cover picture gives out a film to watch like no other seen before.
I am sorry to add, the cover picture is 100% misleading.

0/10 for the film !

Please avoid and save money and time.


Don't be fooled - this man is not related to Andre 3000
Review date: 2007-07-24 Rating: 2 out of 10

Many horror characters seek to rejuvinate their flagging careers by heading out into space. Jason Vorhees did it, Pinhead did it, the Critters did it, and, most successfully, the Leprechaun did it. This time, it's the turn of horror old-timer Dracula, who in this one is lurking around an old spaceship in the Carpathian star system, presumably waiting for people to bite. Unfortunately for the Count, his plan goes horribly awry as he finds himself in the middle of this woeful direct to video nonsense.

Back to the dole queue for you, buddy.

The first failure of this one is down to the extreme low-budget-ness of the future they've created. Turns out, one thousand years from now we will still be using 9mm pistols, VHS videos, and manually operated wheelchairs. So much for advances in technology. Also, the interiors of our spaceships will look suspiciously like the corridors of a rusty old boat. Surely the makers of Dracula 3000 could have sprung for a few pointless blinking lights or plastic laser guns.

Secondly, poor Dracula is lumbered with a pretty awful supporting cast. You've got Starship Trooper Casper Van Dien and his wooden acting, although it now comes with added Sonny Crockett stubble; former Baywatch babe Erika Eleniak, who remains stubbornly clothed throughout; and rapper Coolio, proving that 1990s gangsta stereotypes are also still alive and well in the thirty-first century. None of them are any good, although Coolio at least provides some unintentional laughs as the lamest vampire since Paul Ruebens in the original Buffy film.

Finally, even the Count lets himself down, looking as though he's filling time between panto performances and still wearing that daffy high-collared cape. For shame, Dracula. Have you no pride?

In conclusion, I beg anyone reading this review to not watch this film. It's not so bad it's good - it's so bad it collapses in on itself into a singularity of collossally dense tedium and ineptitude.

Really, don't watch it.

Product Details/Specifications


Actor(s):
Erika Eleniak
Casper Van Dien
Udo Kier
Langley Kirkwood
Alexandra Kamp

Creators:
Casper Van Dien (Primary Contributor)
Erika Eleniak (Primary Contributor)

Director(s):

Recording label: Starz Home Entertainment
Manufacturer: Starz Home Entertainment
EAN: 5060020624544
Binding: DVD
Number of items: 1
Format: Anamorphic, PAL,
Release date: 2005-10-17
Aspect ratio: 1.85:1
Audience rating: Suitable for 15 years and over
Region code: 2
Running time: 86 minutes
Theatrical release date: 2004
Language: English (Original Language)

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