Our Price: £10.75 (subject to change)
hilariously bad
Review date: 2008-08-04 Rating: 10 out of 10
From the first reel to the last, this has to be one of the most amazingly bad films ever created. Acting, dialogue, plot, and editing are so bad they make Garth Marenghi's Darkplace look like The Deer Hunter. The opening sequence, where a derranged tribesman runs around New York firing poisoned darts at random people only to be promptly run over by a bus, is not even possible to describe in words. The Funky disco soundtrack is completely out of place. The main lead guy frequently smacks the main woman around the face when she becomes hysterical, actually punching her square in the face towards the end of the film, and every time they seem to make up within 10 seconds. The strange colony they visit in the jungle to rescue her sister looks like something out of a Star Trek episode where they visit a new planet, complete with loony cult leader on a corrupted mission for 'peace'. And strangely enough there is no cannibalism to be seen anywhere in the film. 'Eaten Alive' is like a masterclass in badness. Pure entertainment, a million stars.
*The reviewer who says this is Tobe Hooper's follow-up to Texas Chainsaw is talking about a different film.
from NYC. Two interesting points shine in Eaten Alive, the titles set against 42nd Street grindhouses and wedded to a disco-era rendition of the theme from Cannibal Ferox, and the presence of East Coast XXX actor Robert Kerman, who as R. Bolla was eaten alive in a more normal fashion in movies that played the aforementioned forty deuce. Kerman/Bolla puts in a fine performance as a grisly but likeable seen it all type. How New Yorker Kerman came to appear in nearly all Italian
cannibal films must be a story in itself. When it opened in the UK, Eaten Alive had one of the most strongest posters ever seen from Wardour Street, a blood splattered depiction of Me Me Lai's demise, it left people shell shocked and was remembered years after. Then and now however Eaten Alive has been much butchered by the censors, at last count by 5 minutes 42 seconds. Gone are blood caked cannibalism, national geographic animal butchery and some kinky stuff at Jonas place, alas Me Me's demise has also bit the dust. Something you'll never realise then is that Umberto Lenzi perhaps sensing the genre had run its course, recycles moments from his own Deep River Savages, and competitor Ruggero Deodato's Cannibal, making Eaten Alive a greatest hits package "Now that what I call Anthropophagous" if you will. British DVD's live in fear of censorship cuts that instantly curtail their value, but they are also damned by a lack of extras-(audio commentaries, trailers etc). In this respect Eaten Alive suffers both externally and internally, a number of stills are short change indeed. Even seen cut Eaten Alive is a fine exploitation thriller, but there is a sense of compromise, the question is how much is the worth of a film called Eaten Alive that no longer contains anyone being Eaten Alive?