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Published: Sun, 11 May 2008 16:23:38 -0700

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Author: YAMBAILY Keywords: hobo phabio theme song crap ham guitar nut cracker tv Added: May 11, 2008

Wagonface

Published: Fri, 18 May 2007 11:46:48 -0700

Music video for Victor Mancini

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Bracker History Month Tribute

Published: Sat, 24 Feb 2007 09:57:44 -0800

Welcome to Damn Crackers Bracker History Month Tribute. Through out history Black people have grown accustomed to being around the White man. And while being around the White man they have taken on their traits as well. When this happens, they are referred to as a Bracker, or a Black Cracker. It is the contrast to the term Wigger. In 1974 he came on the scene as a weekend weatherman in Syracuse, NY while still attending college. After graduating he went from DC to Ohio until finally landing a weekend weatherman job at WNBC in NY. Since then he has been named "America's most loved Weatherman." He was comic relief to millions of viewers from 1989-1998 in the Friday rockblock better known as TGIF. From bustin' crooks to putting up with his annoying neighbor, Reginald VelJohnson holds a special place in the heart of Bracker lovers all over America. Better known as Carl Winslow, Reginald is just one of many in the long line of Black Cracker TV shows such as Family Matters, Sister Sister and The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. But unlike other Black Cracker shows, Carl Winslow shared the stage with one very special Bracker, and everyone knows who I am talking about. Jaleel White was born in California in 1976 and played Bruce Lee Urkel, or Steve Urkel for short who was that pesky nerd next door to the Winslow family. Wearing suspenders and producing perfect English in that high pitched, nasally voice, Jaleel is the King of Brackers. And if that isn't enough to put him in the Bracker Hall of Fame then just look at his real last name, White. Since playing the loveable Bracker on Family Matters, Jaleel has upped his Bracker status and stared in movies such as "Miracle Dogs Too", "Dreamgirls" and going as far as hitting Redneck Bracker status, Jaleel has a role in the movie, "Kissing Cousins".Though Steve Urcle is the king of TV Brackers, the throne wasn't won without a fight. Three years after family Matters hit the air, another show with Bracker written all over it joined the thriving Black Cracker TV scene. Moving from the Chicago middle-class Family Matters to the rich California Mansion we take a look at "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". With matching role to role with family matters, we see a Carl Winslow in Philip Banks, and we see a Steve Urcle, in Carlton Banks. Though missing the suspenders and pocket protector, Alfonso Ribeiro, aka Carlton Banks, had his own white nerdy characteristics. Such as his preppy shirt with sweater hung neatly around his neck, and his horrible white dance moves. Carlton was obsessed with William Shatner and Star Trek, is proud of his virginity and claims his role model is Bryant Gumbel, one of the most famous Brackers in the News. Bryant Gumbel has the voice, look and face of a cracker, minus the whiteness. Gumbel, a famous News and Sports broadcaster has undertaken many different projects from Super Bowls and Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel to The Rosie O'donnall Show and Live with Regis to Kathy Lee, but one film in particular shows his bright and true Brackerness, and that is the 2004 movie titled, "The N-Word." Only a true Black Cracker would refer to the N word in its politically correct nature. Let us take a little deeper look at Star Trek and it's characters, actually only one of them, Geordi La Forge, the only main Black actor on the set of Star Trek, The Next Generation and a Bracker on top of it. Geordi, or LeVar Burton shows us that even in the future, Black people act white and that they will wear crazy head wear so White people cannot see their eyes. Besides LeVar's role on Star Trek, he also hosted a popular children's show from the 1980's to the early 21st century. Reading Rainbow was a program filled with homosexual white songs and happy Caucasian children running around, and in the middle of it all was LeVar Burton, A Bracker of the Children. With his white teeth and his happy go lucky smile, Tiger Woods took the whitest game around and made it his. He did all this while acting as white as the next golfer. There were no 40's poured on the green for his dead father, he can ask a question instead of "ax" it, there were no spinners on his golf cart and Tiger can even pronounce "th" without making it sound like a "fff". Tiger being of Asian and African decent is not just a Bracker, he is also a Chinker. Growing up in an all white family and knowing little about his African-American father, Barack Obama doesn't know how to act like anything except a Cracker. Elected on the Democratic Party and currently serving as the senator of Illinois, a state that is 79 percent white, Barack's white soul is even noticed by other Senators, such as Joe Biden who stated about Obama, ". . . you got the first sorta main-stream African-American who is articulate, and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. " If that doesn't sum up Bracker, I don't know what does

Author: damncrackers Keywords: Comedy Cracker Bracker Humor Black History Month DamnCrackers Damn Funny Added: February 24, 2007

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